Category Archives: Infertility & Adoption

Our Adoption Process

We have received such encouraging feedback regarding our forthcoming adoption! Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. It has mean the world to us after the journey God has led us down.

Many of you have asked “Why DSS?” and “Where are you in the process right now?” So, I thought I’d fill everyone in at once! :)

All throughout 2011, we wrestled with the Lord regarding HIS timing and direction on starting the adoption process. We ebbed and flowed from sadness about infertility to being fed up and just wanting to “move on” with adoption.

We pursued international adoption as we have both dreamed of adopting a little girl from China–maybe with special needs? When we discovered that we both had to be 30 (yes, I am married to a younger man) we knew we would be delayed several years…not to mention you have to have a certain BMI (yes, body mass index?!?) and all sorts of other stipulations, plus it was going to cost a significant amount. We checked out a few other countries, yet, again and again, we were discouraged by the price tag and volital nature of the process.

We then attended a private infant adoption workshop assuming that would be the Lord’s will for us, as many of our friends had gone this route. Yet, as we sat through the seminar, nothing moved us toward this and if anything, we were yet again discouraged by the price (not that we are scared of fundraising, because that’s how we make a living!) and by the fact that if we were to conceive in the middle of the process, we would be deleted from their system and would lose any financial investment we had made toward the process.

Our last option, that we said we would “never do”, was through the state of South Carolina Department of Social Services…but we thought we might as well do our due diligence and attend an informational meeting just to say we gave it a chance.

In December, we attended an info session hosted by the *MOST* amazing social worker. She spoke for over 2 hours as both a parent of adopted children and as a social worker who has worked in “the system” for years.

With tears in our eyes, we both were completely convicted and convinced that we were to take a step of faith and give DSS a shot.

Why DSS? Besides the fact that the Holy Spirit made it pretty daggum clear that for now this is the way we are to proceed…

  • *It’s a real live child.
  • *It’s a real live child from a very bad situation (taken from their homes) who would gratefully have a loving family
  • *There is a committee that matches families and children based on their needs and abilities vs. a mom choosing from photo albums or waiting on a list and getting the next baby in line (Nothing wrong with these ways of doing things, of course! It just spoke to us!)
  • *The process is seriously easy-peasy!
  • *It’s FREE!

We turned all our preliminary paperwork into the facilitating social worker that very night, and she said, “Oooooh, mercy! I got 7 little boys for you two!”

We sheepishly laughed…because after hearing for 2 hours that with DSS “if you say 1 child, that means 2, 2 means 3 and 3 means 4!” we didn’t know if she were joking or not! (They say this because if Baby Momma has another baby, you get first dibs to him or her…who knew?!?)

So, since December, we’ve completed:

  1. Info Session 12/7
  2. Application
  3. SLED/Protective Services Authorizations
  4. Fingerprint Report
  5. Discipline Agreement Form
  6. Financial Form
  7. Family History Form
  8. 14 hours of Parenting Classes
  9. Disaster Preparedness Plan
  10. 10-page Autobiographies
  11. Physicals/TB testing
  12. Child Factors Checklist (what we will not take in a child–this was heart-wrenching!)
  13. Openness Checklist (what legal risks you’re willing to take)
  14. Documentation (Birth Certificates, Marriage License, Social Security card, Driver’s Licenses, etc.)
  15. Photos of us and our home
  16. References
  17. Fire Inspection: Scheduled for MONDAY, FEB. 27!!
  18. Department of Health and Environmental Control Inspection: They are running 90 days behind…grrr…we shall see.
  19. Home Study: Will take about a month to complete
  20. WAIT: For who knows how long? Oh, right, the Lord. That’s who :)
  21.  Home Study Approval
  22. GET MATCHED with a referral OR TWO!!!!
  23. Visit with child (INSERT CHILDREN!!!??!!!)
  24. Fall in love
  25. Bring them home August 6th!
  26. Wait for TPR (terminate parental rights)
  27. 30 Day Appeal Process
  28. Meet with lawyers
  29. Adoption Paperwork
  30. Gotcha Day in Court and PARTY AFTERWARD!!!

We have been told that the squeaky wheel gets the oil when it comes to DSS, so you can bet your bottom dollar we will both be making some very politely persistent phone calls along the way!

So, that’s why we chose DSS and that’s where we are in the process. Please pray that we pass the Fire Inspection on Monday and that our DHEC inspection & Home Study take as long or as short as the Lord desires for us to be matched with our little munchkin!

Expanding Our House By 2 Feet

Seeing as how this is our 500th post (!?!) we thought we should make it extra special by getting our big news out in the open…

Woohoo!! As I had mentioned before it’s been a long road that has led us to this point. It has been a road that was filled with a lot of tears, sadness, wrestling with God and plain ole crawl in bed for the next 2.5 years exhaustion.

Miraculously, God has lifted the heavy sadness (not to say there aren’t moments where one or the other of us aren’t still sad) and exchanged it with a heart full of excitement about how He will expand our family!

So, for all my detail-oriented friends, here’s the scoop that we put in our monthly newsletter to all our ministry supporters…

Since our early days of marriage, God has given us huge hearts for adoption.

It’s utterly mind-blowing to realize that God the Father adopts us into His family through Christ. (Rms. 8: 14-16, Gal. 4:4-6, etc.) And it’s breath-taking to see that His heart is always to “set the lonely in families” (Ps. 68:5-6) He makes us His true sons and daughters. He gives us a new name, a new story, a new inheritance, a new family, a new future and a new hope.  (Eph. 1)

We are blessed to have countless friends, especially here in Columbia, who have followed the Lord in this huge step of faith. We have always known God would call us to adoption “some day” and after several years of waiting on the Lord to add to our family, we are excited to follow Him on this journey.

We have applied, been accepted, done paperwork, sat through 14 hours of parenting classes and are in the midst of the home study process to adopt here in South Carolina. We have requested 1-2 children, ages 3 years and younger, but are unsure on ANY real details. Once our home study is complete, we will wait to get *the phone call* to hear of a potential “match”.  (Insert screams, tears, jumping up and down and then freaking out wondering what we’ve gotten ourselves into?!?)

Shortly following that phone call, we will attend a presentation disclosing all known information about the child/children and the family situation from which they come. Then, we will decide whether we’d like to meet them. Next, we can set up a day visit or a weekend overnight visit. From there, we can schedule as many visits as are needed to decide if we would like to make them a part of our family…but we are asking God to give us a “yes & amen” at the point of presentation, so as not to put a child through any further hardship! Seriously, can you imagine??

We are confident that God already knows the perfect “match” for us. He has fearfully and wonderfully made this child or sibling group and has numbered the hair on their heads. He is with them during the bad dreams or the scary thunderstorms and is mighty to save them from any pain they are experiencing. We are entrusting the journey that brings us together as a family to the One who knows the beginning from the end.  What a blessing to first be adopted and transformed by the Alpha and Omega ourselves, an d now, to have the privilege of extending that gift to precious little ones.

¨ Please pray that, upon presentations, we will hear from the Lord regarding meeting any children.

¨ Please pray for our perseverance and encouragement through this process…it can make ya feel crazy.

¨ Please pray for the little one (s) God has chosen for us, that even now their hearts will be softening toward the Lord and that they will  come to know Him as their King!

*Disclaimer: If at all possible, please don’t say to either of us, “Oh, I bet now that you are adopting you’ll get pregnant!!” This is the #1 normal, natural thing that people say…and as excited as we are for your Sister Suzie that adopted from Mongolia and is now pregnant with triplets, we are okay with God’s “no”.

An adopted child is not a temporary fix until the real blessing arrives! We are celebrating God’s Plan A for the Hurdle Family. “When people try to encourage infertile couples by sharing infertility success stories, it detracts from their pain or diminishes their joy.” Finding God’s Peace Amidst Infertility–Flowers

And, if by random chance (like less that 10%) we do conceive, please celebrate with us (because who doesn’t want 55 more Joel Hurdle’s running around!?! That would be amazing!!) but do your other hurting friends a favor and only share if they can hear it. :)

Special thanks to my AMAZING friend Bri, who designed a logo for us when we were in the early stages of praying about all this. This will help denote our blog posts about adoption and if we end up having to do any fundraisers to bring the kiddos home! And thank you to those of you who have prayed and sought the Lord on our behalf. You have no idea how we have felt lifted up by you.

 Thank you for caring and partnering with us in ministry and life!

Oh, and pray for Addie…she really needs to learn NOT to bite before we get little bitties in our life!! Hahaha. :)