How I Really Felt About Easter

You know, in my mind, Easter morning was supposed to have gone much better than it did. Joel and I were supposed to get a full night’s rest (hey, a girl can dream), kids were supposed to wake up happy and centered on Jesus. Everyone would be surprised with the beautiful baskets I had slaved over. We’d have lovely warm breakfast together, dress in crisp Spring clothes and head to worship with our church family. Right?

The trouble was–reality.

The kids were awake all night and before the sun was up they were pillaging their baskets unbeknownst to us. Then, a certain parent, who will remain nameless, let the kids go play in the (muddy) backyard in their Easter clothes. I’d tried to stay calm but the minute I laid eyes on the big smear of mud down the back of my D’s dress shirt, I lost it my Easter-loving mind.

how I really felt

I let out a defeated sigh and harshly said, “Son, what on earth were you thinking? You’d better figure out a way to cover up all that dirt. Put your coat on so no one can see.”

As soon as the words left my lips I recognized what my heart was really saying.

You’re dirty.

You’d better figure out how to cover up all that mess.

You wouldn’t want anyone to see you as you really are.

Of course, all I could think was, “Well, Happy Easter to you, too, Mom.”

It was Easter morning for Peter Rabbit’s sake and the exact thing Jesus came to do–wipe the slates of our dirty souls clean, cover and remove our filth, free us from hiding and self-protection–was the exact thing I was demanding of my son to do for himself.

Andtoo often, it’s the mentality I live with in my own life.

We got to church (15 minutes late) and thankfully my heart was immediately warmed by the Scripture-filled songs and the fellowship of other believers. Of course, then I realized I had left my (unused) straightener on causing me to bolt mid-service to prevent a house fire. But as I left the church, I couldn’t help praising God the Father for initiating His redemptive plan to cleanse the human heart. I kept thanking Jesus for covering and removing my sin nature and begged the Holy Spirit to align my heart to the truth of Easter. And hey, by the time I got home, I was actually thankful for having to go home because it meant at least one of us had time to brush her teeth.

how i really felt

“Life is always double. There is an outer form in which it presents itself to our senses; and there is an inner spirit which is the vital quality. But this inner, spiritual, immortal element—can be found only through the dying of the outer and temporary form. The golden grain must be buried in service or sacrifice of love—that from its grave may rise that which is unseen and eternal!”

how I really felt

 

3 thoughts on “How I Really Felt About Easter”

  1. Love this post, Kitty. It’s always nice to hear when other families don’t have it all together because if my family is anything, it’s a mess. But a happy one who loves each other :) I’ve done 2 mom fails this week with my oldest and extracurricular activities and I just want to look up at the sky and scream, “I’m trying, dang it!” I enjoyed reading your words this morning.

  2. So thankful I’m not alone! Thanks for commenting and encouraging me. Here’s to a mom-fail-free weekend!

  3. Reality-yesbut I am thankful for your reflections on the whole thing. Glad the house did not burn down and shirt can be washed. Hugs and kisses, Momma Bear

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