I am a guest blogger on my dear friend, Danielle’s blog today! Some of the images are being weird, so I uploaded the article I wrote to this post as well…thanks for including me in your blog, Danielle!
Stewing and chewing on some truth, to be exact.
The *amazing* woman (whom I met as a junior in college and 2 years later, after I moved to Charlotte, had as my my mentor and boss, was honored to have as one of my bridesmaids, and is now a treasured friend-whom I love from afar as I watch her love her Lord, hubby, and 3 precious boys. That was way too wordy of an explanation, but you get the picture.) and I were on the phone Sunday evening.
It wasn’t long before we got deep. Which I love. (I am actually really bad at just small talking…whoops!) Somehow, we began talking about our reputations, images and the ungodly value placed on other people’s opinions of us. Not to mention our OWN opinions of ourselves!
She was telling me about her friend, who had recently spoken some great words of truth to her… and those same words resonated very deeply in my own soul… so what were those words? They went a little something like this…
“You know, often I see you get frustrated, anxious and mad whenever something seems to be threatening your awesomeness.”
“Any time the boys, or your husband or even you do something that messes with how awesome you want to be/think you are/you think others think you are, it really brings out frustration, anxiety or anger.” (I’ll insert in here, just for fun, manipulation also!)
We continued our conversation, but I kept re-playing “…threatens your awesomeness” in my mind.
That next morning, I was driving to meet with a student and I was flustered by how disheveled our house was and how long my to-do list had become. I was on the verge of frustration when I hit some traffic that would cause me to be late. Grumbling ensued.
At that same moment, the CD changed songs and the all-so-familiar song, “Give Me Jesus” came on. You know the one,…”Give me Je-e-e-sus, give me Je-ee-sus, you can have all this world, but give me Je–sus. ” Immediately, the Holy Spirit pricked my heart and I knew that if I were to sing the song that was ACTUALLY in MY heart it would sound a little more like, “Give me Je-e-e-sus, give me Je-ee-sus, Give me Jesus, a clean house, nothing left uncrossed off my to-do list, a successful day at work, no traffic and yes, of course, Je-ee-sus.”
I was exposed for what the true passion of my heart was at that moment…and it wasn’t God’s awesomeness…it was my own. I wanted to have it all together. I wanted to be accomplished. I wanted to be comfortable. I wanted to have an easy life. I wanted to approve of first-born, Type A, self. I, I, I, I wanted to be awesome. (Mostly just in my own eyes! I don’t care as much about other people’s eyes as I used to…is that better? I think it might actually be far worse? Haha.)
Anyway, it was cool to see how the Lord merged truth+my sinful heart in a beautiful moment of grace. I practiced “spiritual breathing” the way I was taught in college. I exhaled the yuck and inhaled God’s love and forgiveness by “calling it sin against the Father, calling it forgiven in Christ, and calling on the Holy Spirit to change you.”
Thankfully, there IS a sense of awesomeness that we are infused with when we become believers! Dig into Ephesians 1 this week for some nuggets of how God credited his awesomeness to us when we were made new in Christ.