Valentine’s Day Weekend

For Valentine’s Day this year we packed our bags and headed to FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember on Hilton Head Island in SC!

Thankfully, Crusade staff get to attend for free…So, we decided after our first year of marriage to try and attend a marriage conference every other year or so, for a tune-up.

I mean, you go to the dentist every 6 months, you get your oil changed every 3,000 miles (3,000 right? My daddy trained me right, but my brain has gone mushy thanks to a live-in handyman…)

Anyway, it was totally worth the trip. This time we invited some friends to join us and it made it so much more fun!

Not only did we have friends from Crossroads there, we had friends from our Newlywed class at Shandon join us too! We miss Jaclyn and Travis now that they live in Charleston, but it was such a treat to hang for the weekend!

Here are some of the highlights I took away from the weekend…

  1. The goal of marriage is oneness (not just happiness). “Oneness in marriage involves complete unity with each other. It’s more than a mere mingling of two humans–it’s a tender merger of body, soul and spirit.” –Dennis Rainey
  2. Think of the top 3 things you fight about/things that disrupt oneness and pray through those asking God to help you communicate and sacrificially love each other with regard to those issues.
  3. Your spouse is NOT your enemy. Rather, a gift straight from God to You.
  4. Marriage is the one place where we should accept each other’s weaknesses. We can either be a refining tool in their life or a jackhammer.
  5. Fight based on facts NOT based on your judgment of the other person’s motives.
  6. Don’t let your “i[‘m sorry’s” be followed by a big “but…”
  7. The Gospel=loving imperfect people for eternity. Marriage is supposed to display the good news of a great, reconciling God to the World!
  8. Bitterness=drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
  9. Every marriage needs: companionship, commitment, passion and spiritual intimacy.
  10. How long has your spouse been underwater? (in need of affection, admiration, etc.)
  11. It’s easier to act your way into a new kind of feeling than to feel your way into a new kind of action.
  12. Forgiven people, forgive people.
  13. When your blood is boiling toward your spouse, you are on the brink of oneness~ The question is, will you forgive and offer grace?
  14. Play wounded (Carrie Strugg example) just as Christ did. We drained Christ!
  15. We remember that which is repeated. What chorus will your spouse remember from you?


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